Searching

In amongst my searching this week I wrote a poem. There is always room for new beginnings and a refocus, but will it get embedded enough to stay on my radar, I hope so but we will have to wait and see.

I am searching for a new way

I have stopped praying

No longer believing in answered prayers

But I so need something

To break through my anxiety

The disconnection I’m feeling

Something to quench my

Longing yearning breaking

Heart full of pain and alone

So I go to a YouTube “sage’

I find a special lady there

Talking about conscious prayer

Three steeps, tree like symbols

The roots feeling your pain

Right to the heart down deep

The loneliness and separation

Who we really are, so lost

Then the branches reaching out

To source, to light warmth water life

What is source for me I ask

Where does my love come from

Grasping at loving kindness

Searching for some wholeness

Finding where I am with sincerity

Staying fresh experimenting with payer

Next its leaves they are receiving

Taking it in, feeling listening

God speaks to silent hearts

So beginning in mist stillness

Listening to self like butterfly wings

Shh quietly waiting to hear

From source and what’s whispered

Open having the right attitude

So this is day one I’ve started

Bared my tender soul uncovered

The tears stinging my little face

I search to know myself for real

To discover what I truly want

Finding my hidden desires

I am told that my longing

Can become belonging in time

So practice and patience

Giving it time